Dare to imagine to have a different life

I have worked since I was 14 years old. I have always enjoyed my jobs. I have had up days and down days but for the most part I have always loved my job. I have been doing hair for over 13 years. I love it. It makes me happy. Although I am not in a shop currently, I still continue to cut hair when I can and still plan on doing it from a station at home by appointment only 2 days a week. Even though I have always enjoyed doing hair, it was never exactly what I always dreamed of being. Of course I love my job as a wife. I love being married to a man who can't wait to tell me he loves me every morning. That no matter how I look or feel it doesn't matter because he thinks I am beautiful. He loves me. He supports me in all that I do. A job as a wife is hard. It is about give and take. I feel like when we are always giving, that's when we are the most happy. I must say, now I dare imagine to have a different life. To have a changed life. Our life is going to be different but in a good way. So... It feels a little weird to be here now after waiting for 10 years. Waiting so long to feel those little flutters. To see our babies nose, eyes, arms, legs and head on that screen. To see them form into a little human instead of a little blip on the ultrasound monitor. To hear their heartbeat for the first time and ball like a crazy woman because it means... so... much. It has been hard to be excited because with as many times I have lost one of our little angels, the pain seems to hurt more with every loss, the more excited I was. I pinch myself every morning now to remind myself that this is real. This is happening. This is not a dream. This is my 6th pregnancy and the furthest along that I have ever been. I am so grateful for every second. Every day I have been sick. For every vomiting moment. For those nauseated evenings, where nothing sounds good but crackers or something with potatoes. For the good days and the harder days. For every second I was on bed rest... I am grateful.  I am grateful for the prayers, for the priesthood blessings, for the hopes, for peoples faith, for the strength of family, and for people loving us enough to put our names in the Temple.  I felt like my faith in knowing that we would ever have a family was lost for a long time.  I had a lot of personal growth to make and many demons to overcome. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Fathers patience with me.  Here I am , 17 plus weeks later still pinching myself and just so grateful for all my many blessings. I am so grateful that he has entrusted me with one of his angels. That I will soon have the job of what I have always dreamed of being, A mother.

Enjoy the little things

It is something that I have been so excited to feel. I have felt flutters since a little bit before we found out the sex of our son Lincoln. I feel so lucky to get this far and be the mom of this incredible angel. All this week on and off I have felt flutters. Every once and awhile I will feel one or two swift little "pum pums" I call them. They feel more like tapping from the inside out. Today I was awakened by "pum pums." I have a stupefied grin on my face that will probably be there all day. I feel so blessed to enjoy the little things in life because to me... they are the BIG things. I feel so blessed that my husband has required I be a stay at home mom so that I don't have the stress of a crazy job and I can get the rest when I need it. I feel like our family is finally starting. I am so grateful for every second.